How am I different from other therapists?

• Most couples therapists focus primarily on monogamous relationships, but I specialize in polyamorous relationships. Therefore, I can work with all types of relationships without judgment, including monogamous, polyamorous, and LGBTQ, among others. All relationships work the same no matter who is in them or how many.
• I will not sugarcoat things for you and it may take several sessions to get to the root of a problem. I am honest and will call out bad behavior or habits when I see them. There are no “good people” or “bad people”, only maladaptive behaviors, poor or nonexistent coping skills, and trauma responses.
• It’s one thing to call out a person’s bad behavior, but it shouldn’t end there (as some therapists do). I understand that it takes a lot more understanding and learning to change. I will teach you what you should be doing to stop pushing away your partner and how to practice the five pillars to reconnect.
• I don’t want you to stay in therapy forever. I want every minute you are with me to count, and for you to only get what you need. Additionally, I will never make your schedule for you – it is entirely up to you, and I respect your needs.
• There are reasons we act the way we do in our intimate relationships, and I address these issues in the session – in front of your partner. It’s about helping a person change their relationship with themselves as much as it is with their partner(s).
• Traditional therapists act like the expert in the room, guiding their “toddlers” to understand on their own. I believe that you can’t tell me something you don’t know, so I am on this journey with you to explore and grow. What I teach has helped not only myself in my own relationships, but countless others as well.
• Many couples therapists end up being the referee during a couple’s conflict. They aim to help the couple come to a single objective reality, which doesn’t exist in personal relationships. Instead, I’m here to teach you the skills you need to never need a referee again.
• Lasting change in relationships is more than just one thing, like empathy or validation. I help coach and guide each of you to open your perspective and learn to “speak each other’s language”. Communication is key, but understanding is the lock.
• Mindfulness is more than some “hippie” term meant to absolve you of thinking about the past or the future. It is about using the now to understand the past and better your future. Relational mindfulness also reminds you to look outside your own perspective in the moment, which celebrates validation and empathy.
• You and your partner(s) can literally tell me ANYTHING, and I will NEVER judge you, think less of you, abandon you, reject you, or use it against you. I create a safe space for you and your partners to dive as deeply as you need into the darkest sides of yourselves, your biggest fears and worries, and help you get through to the other side.