Frequently Asked Questions

Not at all, for most people, couples therapy is a way to strengthen a relationship, not end it.

Studies have demonstrated that couples therapy has a positive effect on 70% of individuals who participate in it. For numerous couples, reaching out to a qualified therapist can make all the difference between staying together for the long haul or ending up as another divorce statistic.

If both you and your partner desire to make improvements in your relationship, a relationship therapist can assist you in identifying the root causes of relationship toxicity and introduce constructive and empathetic methods for communication and conflict resolution.

The recommended frequency and duration of therapy sessions may vary depending on the issues presented and their severity. In some cases, I might suggest weekly or bi-weekly sessions that last 1 hour and 30 minutes. Many couples discover that longer sessions enable them to delve deeper into their problems and achieve more progress, even though it may require more time and financial commitment initially, it can ultimately save them both in the long run.

Absolutely. When there is a deficit of commitment and trust in a relationship, it often leads to harmful interactions that drive us apart, rather than bringing us closer together. Thankfully, couples therapy based on empirical evidence has shown that it can result in positive outcomes for 70% of couples, helping to mend the relationship and bridge the gap between them.

There are numerous advantages to seeking counseling. Couples who aim to enhance their communication skills and strengthen their relationship can significantly benefit from seeing the same therapist either individually or together. Working with a counselor can enhance communication and conflict resolution skills for both parties.

Couples therapy is suitable for any two adults who are experiencing a significant amount of conflict in their relationship, regardless of their living situation, length of time together, or sexual orientation. In certain cases, the “couple” may consist of a parent and child, or siblings. There are no limitations or restrictions on who can access couples therapy or relationship counseling.

While not without its challenges, a successful relationship between a monogamous person and a polyamorous individual who maintains multiple relationships is indeed possible. For this arrangement to work, effective communication, ethical behavior, and informed consent by all parties involved are crucial. It is worth noting, however, that polyamory may not be a viable option for everyone, and being in a monogamous relationship with another monogamous person can be equally fulfilling and rewarding.

An open relationship is one in which both partners are allowed to have sex with other people, either together or separately, while remaining emotionally committed to one primary partner. Polyamorous relationships involve being committed to multiple partners and loving them equally. Swingers are individuals or couples who engage in sexual activities with others purely for pleasure, without the need for any additional emotional relationships.

Open relationships fall under the category of consensually non-monogamous relationships (CNM), where one or both partners can pursue sexual and sometimes emotional relationships with others. They differ from swinging, which typically involves sex with others at parties, and from polyamory, which involves multiple committed romantic relationships at the same time. Open relationships are often considered a middle ground between swinging and polyamory, allowing partners to have sex with others they find attractive, while maintaining casual relationships that do not involve commitment or intimacy.

In summary, open relationships offer fewer restrictions and are a diverse form of non-monogamous relationships. Polyamory involves multiple committed relationships, while swinging is purely sexual. It is essential to establish healthy boundaries, communicate effectively, and manage time effectively in any type of non-monogamous relationship. Additionally, some relationships may involve deep emotional connections without sexual intimacy, and there are various types of love and attraction, including asexual, aromantic, demisexual, pansexual, sapiosexual, and more.

Polyamory is the consensual and ethical practice of multiple partners, and it is legal in every state. Polygamy is illegal in most all states as it refers to a man having more than one legal wife. 

In polyamory you can have as many wedding ceremonies, handfasting, or whatever type of ceremony your hearts desire to socially recognize your unions – they just cannot be legally recognized like a court appointed marriage due to tax, insurance, and other legal reasons. For this reason, it is recommended that should a married couple decide to be polyamorous, there should be some sort of statement written stating that both agree to this, in case one or the other becomes jaded in the future and wants to use that experience against you in a court of law to suggest infidelity.

Solo polyamory refers to individuals who are open to dating or engaging in multiple meaningful relationships without having a designated ‘primary partner.’ In contrast, hierarchical polyamory involves prioritizing one or more partners (typically designated as primary) over others (often labeled as secondary or tertiary). This may involve two individuals who are married or have been together for a long time, and work together on important decisions, often living together, sharing a property, and potentially raising children together.

While some individuals in polyamorous relationships adhere to a hierarchy system, others do not believe in prioritizing partners in this way. Some may use the hierarchy system only as a means of describing their level of involvement or time spent with each partner. For example, one may have a nesting partner who they live with and spend a majority of their time with, a secondary or tertiary partner who they see less frequently, and even a “comet” partner who they only see sporadically when their paths cross. Ultimately, the hierarchy system is a personal choice for those in polyamorous relationships.

Jealousy is a natural emotion that can arise in both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships, and it does not necessarily indicate that someone is behaving inappropriately. Emotions serve as essential signals that help us determine what is happening in our lives and when we need to take a closer look at something. Jealousy usually emerges from envy and functions as an indicator that we have an unfulfilled need.

Regardless of the type of relationship you are in, it is essential to pause and consider your feelings and their underlying causes, even if jealousy stems from a non-romantic area of your life. Once you have identified what you are missing, you will need to have a candid conversation with your partner(s) about these issues. Share how you felt, why you felt that way, and allow them to brainstorm ways to help you fulfill that need while still feeling loved, validated, heard, and seen during these difficult times. Through mindful practices, you can train your brain to recognize when your need has been met and practice gratitude.

Research finds that people in polyamorous relationships are in fact, often quite happy with their arrangements: They report the same levels of relationship satisfaction as married partners, as well as high sexual satisfaction.

According to researchers Fleckenstein and Cox, most polyamorous individuals tend to maintain no more than two or three partnerships simultaneously. The term “saturation” is used to describe the maximum amount of partners one can have in an ethical and fair manner without experiencing burnout. It’s important to keep in mind that taking time for oneself is also a relationship that counts towards your saturation limit.

Unfortunately, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question – it ultimately depends on each individual’s personal preferences and boundaries. While some partners may want to know every single detail about your experiences, others may not feel comfortable with that level of information. Therefore, it’s important to have an open conversation with your partners to determine their boundaries and preferences regarding the sharing of details. It may also be helpful to explore any underlying doubts, fears, or feelings of jealousy that could be influencing their boundaries.

Types of therapy vary vastly but all have specific and helpful views and ideals. It can be super confusing when looking for a therapist and finding a ton of acronyms instead. What is CBT? DBT? EMDR? etc. Good news though, you don’t have to know what any of those are – because a good therapist will have a very detailed intake with you (where I spend two hours getting to know an overview of your life, what you’ve experienced, what you’ve tried, what you need help with, your goals, etc) and from that information they can assess the best types of therapy that would work with your specific struggles, personality, preference, beliefs, ideals, and how you respond to therapy. It is also good practice to explain everything along the way to ensure maximum understanding and comprehension so you never feel left behind or over your head along the way. However, head on over to the “Blog” section of this website, I wrote a blog specifically for this question so I could give it the answer it truly deserves!

This is a great question! Often it is hard to open up to a stranger, especially when there may already be a close bond with a friend or family member already at your disposal. However there are several reasons to speak to a therapist over close relations. For one, having a space that you can share that is objective and confidential can truly allow you to dig deep into the darker and unhealed areas you may need to explore before you can begin to heal. Two, it may be difficult to express ideals with close individuals when they may be part of the trauma – sometimes we don’t know how to bring that up in the conversation or may want a mediator of sorts. Three, a therapist is specifically and thoroughly trained for many years through academics and experience, to understand how to help you unravel what’s in your mind, make sense of it, and spool it back in with the additive psychoeducation to help you not only understand, heal, and grow – but to use those skills in the future to be able to do it on your own. Therapists offer an understanding and comprehensive guide objectively that someone else untrained wouldn’t be able to provide, no matter how much you trust them with your life. It also removes the burden from your loved ones to keep your secrets, or the possible change in dynamic of a relationship that may happen with the knowledge they gain. There is also a possibility of a “falling out” with people in your life that could lead to broken confidence or even twisting of the truth. A therapist is a safe space to unload without being or feeling like a burden or worry of if it will ever be used against you or judged.

Actually I do! As a neurospicy person myself, I am of the mind that when we talk of any changes or coping skills or relational information that it is best shared as first the info, then an example/metaphor, and lastly as something that be practiced outside of session. I also take the time to go over the homework/practical exercise to make sure you understand the process, the how, the why, and when to practice. I’ll also check in periodically to ask how the practice is going, and will discuss it at the next session to gauge usefulness and to see if we need to alter it in anyway to make it the most helpful for you.

This is such a great question! Everyone is different, situations are different, perspectives are different – and that’s okay! That just means when I check in for understanding and effectiveness, if something isn’t working then we’ll just try something else. The path to healing and growth isn’t linear, there are ups and downs, loop-de-loops, set backs, and pauses. What’s important is that we come at this journey with compassion, integrity, empathy, understanding, and validation. We will exhaust every possible avenue to find something that does work for you, and if I can’t, then I’ll find someone that can!

I love them all! I’m what my community deems “eclectic” because I do not believe that one approach or therapeutic style is a “one size fits all”. I believe in treating the individual as a whole, and the best therapeutic method for someone is one that fits their personality, belief system, support circle, ability, and need based on their issue. I also do not believe that that working on one part of the issue will fix it; we must take care of the whole issue from top to bottom and anything it can relate to in order to make a well rounded adjustment. So I use many approaches and styles to custom make a plan that will work best with you personally, rather than a cookie cutter style.

I think medication can be a great tool when necessary to help bridge the gap while learning new skills. I also think there are times where it is necessary depending on the individual case. During our intake, we will go over any medications you are currently on, or have been on, and I will ask for updates frequently for any changes. I also care how what you are taking is affecting your sleep, appetite, mood, and over thoughts. I like to go over contraindications for other medications, food, and practices; as well as side effects. Most medications in the mental health field are designed to be helpful while you unlearn maladaptive behaviors, social expectations and deprogramming, and relearning how to emotionally regulate, use coping skills, and discover emotions and how to handle them, communicate, set boundaries, and become reacquainted with your authentic self, values, and morals. This means they are meant for short term use, not life time. Though there are some that may take 4-6 weeks to adequately build up in your system enough to begin being effective, and some are fast acting for acute but intermediate use. I don’t think medication is good nor bad, right or wrong – it’s just a tool and we should always make sure we are using the right one for the job.

The economy is super scary right now, so I completely understand the worry. I bill for sessions AFTER they are completed, not before. I also provide superbills as needed and monthly (for those that can request compensation from their insurance companies). From your client portal you will have access to creating appointments, a secure HIPAA compliant messaging system directly with me, and access to all your documents and invoices. I understand with the economy the way it is that sometimes we need to break up payments, pay later, or take breaks. I will NEVER pressure you to come to your telehealth session if you don’t feel comfortable financially. I am also willing to work with those that get behind on their payments in whatever ways are most suitable for your specific case. That means that your mental health and progress is more important to me than a paid in full bill before each appointment; so yes – I will also keep your appointment and see you, even if you aren’t paid in full – and I will check on you periodically to make sure you are okay if you start getting too far behind. If it becomes abused we can always work on finding you another fit that may be in-network for your insurance, or somewhere that accepts sliding scale and can still meet your needs; there are TONS of resources out there, and we can find one that works for you.